95. wear my hair in curls in public on a special occasion

I have neglected my list for over a year. I curled my hair you see, and it resulted in the total upheaval of all things (refer to picture below). Hopeless distraction has been my lot ever since. Fear not! The list is not dead, only sleeping. Some things were completed long ago and never logged. Others are still in the works. A few are out of the question due to my altered circumstances, but we'll have a go at the remainder. Meanwhile, here's proof of my curliness.



Thanks are owed to Ryan, who inspired the special occasion, and Sera, who made the curl happen.

82. one month without YouTube

Have you tried to avoid YouTube? It's fiendishly difficult. The pack I run with spends a lot of time online, and they're often firing out links and uploading vids. So I was a little asocial with my YouTube fast. Beyond that, on the world wide web every third strand has some YouTube clip embedded on the page with commentary about this thing you've supposedly watched now. It was like walking in half way through the conversation, but this is happening online where you're supposed to be able to hunt down what you missed. For a month I was generally uninformed.

Technically I didn't make it. I listened to the audio of one clip because I was looking for the line "You are not like sand and that is why I love you." The most hilarious pick up line in the history of film making, right? I was hunting for it and wondering why it was nowhere, and this clip hinted that it had the goods. (The line doesn't exist, incidentally. Poor Padme. I thought there was this one reason for her to like Anakin, but as it happens I was mistaken. Her affection for him was in fact groundless.)

Also there was that movie I watched through YouTube. It was easier than waiting for it to download as a torrent. (Pitiful excuse, but I'm just so happy to have found one that I'm trotting it out with confidence. It cuts all kinds of mustard.)

And finally a friend required introduction to Brian Regan, funny man extraordinaire. So a crowd of us ran through a big string of clips. Group setting. They were on YouTube, not me. I don't regret it at all, and I'm not going to call my explanation an excuse because I have nothing to excuse.

That was my month. I don't know if I liked it. Here I thought I'd buy myself a bundle of extra time, because I'm not checking out Britain's Got Talent for hours at a time anymore. As it turns out, when I'm not vegging on YouTube I'm stagnating in some novel instead. No measurable benefit gleaned. Ah, well, call it a mostly successful exercise in self restraint, if you will. Even if that was the only upside to the fast I'd do it again. Except not. Next exercise in self restraint: item number 83. I am the Early Bird.

30. paint a fence or a room

There was this painting job and I needed money. The job fell apart, but not before I'd helped paint the upstairs and downstairs of a house over on the west side. I don't know if it can be said I painted any one room, but my work is in all of them. It was a grand way to spend two weeks and there is every chance that I am now competent as a painter. Thanks to Sera, who put in the word that got me hired and trained me in the ways of the brush and roller.

36. fire a gun

The firing range we used was a desolate place. It was at the foot of some steep hills and encompassed a few erratic dirt roads and a wide scatter of detritus previous shooters had used as targets. We used a computer screen and tower, some particle boards, a clock, and a few other miscellaneous chunks of rejected ware.

It was great. I fired a hand gun, a .22, and an assault rifle. Somehow it's easier to take shooting seriously when the gun has more recoil. The .22 had no kickback and it was a little surreal to fire it. Pull the trigger, and mysteriously holes appear some distance away. Yes, I am a mature homo sapiens and have the mental wherewithal to infer a causal relationship between the two, but the hole becomes more obviously my work when the gun that made it attacks me. I don't know why this is so, but it is and it made the handgun a joy to play with.

Again thanks go to Ryan, who took me to where the guns are, and to Stirling, the good natured gun man who let an ignorant girl handle his weaponry. Je vous aime bien.

5. stay with a budget for 2 months

Define "stay".

Through March and April I dutifully tracked my spending. March I overshot the budget by $50 and April by $30. We're going to consider this significant improvement and commence self congratulation. (Perhaps commemorated with some small spending splurge?) Logging money is oddly enjoyable, so I'm tracking over May as well to see that the trend of decreasing overspending continues.

Previously I assumed that I was immune to the insidious impulse buy. My records indicate that such does not hold true under specific conditions: I persuade myself that any expenditure is valid so long as the purchase is for someone else. In a fit of selfish rebellion, next month I want to make an impulse buy on my own behalf.

midstride: April

Nothing going on here. Everything's just packed away or not yet started. For unresolved items, please refer to previous midstride posts.

54. milk a goat

Alert readers may have noted that item 54. has not always been "Milk a goat." It used to be "Kill and help prepare a chicken." I have not done this. (Well think about it. Would you want to?) It appeared on the list because I wanted to experience some skill related to animals which become food. Several things might have accomplished this. Killing a chicken was one; catching and cleaning a fish was another; and milking a goat also counts. As a result of my goat milking stint I now play with the idea of some day keeping goats. No number of dead chickens could convince me that I wanted to keep chickens, so I think the change in item 54. is warranted.

It was . . . wonderful. Milking a goat as a novice was like a water fight, except the ammunition was warm milk and I was both aggressor and victim. Working my fingers the right way took concentration, as did learning to feel the flow of milk and getting the timing. It was unlike anything that would come up in the typical education. So there is a world outside of and untouched by academia. Now to find more of it . . .

I am indebted to a few people for this one. Thanks to Ryan, who took me to where the goats are, and Candy, the goat keeper and my milking mentor. She was the most patient of teachers and shared freely about her goats and what she's learned from and about them over the years. Warmest thanks to the spectacular Olsen family, who housed and fed me for several days, generously showed me around their enchanting homestead style property, and made me feel very welcome. They were the kindest of hosts and easy friends.